Conflict Without Casualties: Q&A With Nate Regier
On April 24 my new book, Conflict Without Casualties: A Field Guide for Leading with Compassionate Accountability, officially launches worldwide in paperback, e-book, and audio-book. It’s been an amazing journey so far. I’ve been doing a lot of interviews, speaking engagements, and guest blogs so I’ve had plenty of opportunity to share the message of compassionate accountability and to answer questions about the book. Here are some of them.
Why did you write Conflict Without Casualties?
First, as a reference guide for Leading Out of Drama,® our training and coaching system for Compassionate Accountability. Second, to solidify and share the collective intelligence Next Element has developed over the last decade.
Why should people read the book?
Anyone, whether in a leadership position or not, who has to wade through conflict to reach goals. Conflict is inevitable and if you’d like to learn to negotiate it better, with less drama, this book is for you.
How did you find time to write a book with your busy training, consulting and speaking schedule?
It was very difficult. And I wrote through the chaos because there’s no such thing as the serene writing environment where inspiration flows and nobody distracts you. I usually get up early in the morning and try to have one solid hour of uninterrupted time when my mind is fresh before the day starts around our house. I have receipts from little coffee shops all over Central Kansas where I’d find a few hours to knock out a chapter. A lot of the book came from blogs I’ve written as well as training materials our team has developed.
What thought leaders or mentors have influenced your work?
Too many to mention them all. Some in particular are Michael Meade, Daniel Pink, Daniel Goleman, Nelson Mandella, Stephen Karpman and Taibi Kahler.
How does the book relate to Next Element’s Leading Out of Drama (LOD®) system?
It is the central reference point for all the concepts. I wrote this book in part to be the definitive reference guide for LOD, our treatise on Compassionate Accountability. Regardless of which piece of LOD curriculum a person is using, this book will offer additional insight, stories and examples to enrich the experience.
What is resonating most with people?
Perhaps the most transformative, yet simple, concept from the book is the importance of starting at Open when engaging conflict. Simply being transparent about motives and emotions is so powerful. It’s scary and vulnerable, but powerful.
I’ve been surprised by how many people resonate with Drama-Based Helping and the way we frame gossip as it relates to drama allies and adversaries.
Can your model change lives?
Yes it can. One of our LOD trainers in Melborne, Australia, recently said that with LOD, “There’s nowhere to hide.” LOD quickly exposes negative drama and just as quickly offers alternative behaviors to change the balance of energy in any relationship.
Will it change your life? That depends. Jamie Remsberg, my co-founding owner and a master trainer, likes to remind me that models don’t work, you work. As they say, you get out what you put in.
How has your work with compassionate accountability affected your work and home dynamics?
No relationship has gone untouched by my work. The work I do isn’t about tools, methodologies or strategies. It’s about a philosophy of life and a way of being with self and others. My work has enriched my marriage, relationships with my children, larger family, clients and the community, even the way I engage in social media.
What’s next for you and Next Element?
We want to spread the message of compassionate accountability and change the world, one healthy conflict at time. To do this, we need to sell lots of books, speak to as many audiences as possible, and keep growing our global network of certified facilitators, practitioners, and providers. We’d love to have you on board! Give us a call.
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