How To Make Your Personality More Resilient – Part 2Share via
Personality science reveals that authentic emotional expression is the key to resilience during change. Taibi Kahler, PhD, originator of the Process Communication Model, discovered that humans often hunker down to avoid dealing with particular emotions. The paradox is that only by authentically experiencing these emotional issues can you unlock your personality to deal with what’s next.
Instead of hunkering down during crisis, open up and unlock the positive potential in your personality.
There are six personality types in each of us. One is primary. They all hunker down in their own way, and they all have their own emotional issue to face. I covered two of the types, Thinker and Persister, in last week’s post. Here are the other four.
Harmonizers cope negatively with change by over-caring. So, they double-down on helping in ways that compromise their own boundaries and well-being, taking on too much emotional baggage and stuffing their real feelings. The secret to unlocking their personality is authentically and assertively experience the legitimate anger they feel when bad things happen to good people. Only then can they re-establish healthy boundaries, take good care of themselves, and properly nurture the ones they love.
Imaginers cope negatively with change by isolating and shutting down. Therefore, they literally hunker down, avoiding exposure to people as if being a lonely island is the only method of survival. The secret to unlocking their personality is authentically experiencing the autonomy and agency that comes with being human, recognizing and accepting that they are the only ones who can direct themselves to re-engage with the world. Only then can they reconnect, get the direction they need, and unlock their imagination for what’s next.
Rebels cope negatively with change by blaming everyone around them. Consequently, they double-down on excuses, as if avoiding responsibility will somehow make their uncomfortable emotions go away. The secret to unlocking their personality is to own their feelings and embrace responsibility for their choices. Only then can they re-engage their creative energy in service of novel solutions.
Promoters cope negatively with change by turning up the drama. What follows is they deny, deflect, maneuver and manipulate to displace any accountability to the people who count on them for support. The secret to unlocking their personality is to authentically experience and own the vulnerability that goes with being in a real relationship with someone. Only then can they unlock their powerful potential for positive influence and action.
Do you want to learn more about your personality? Get your own PCM profile and a live debrief from one of our certified PCM trainers.
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My latest book, Seeing People Through is the definitive guide on leadership and personality.