The Six Love Handles of Communication
Research shows that newlyweds gain two to three kilograms of weight during the first year of marriage because they tend to bond over food. Affectionately known as a “love handle,” this excess weight often accumulates around the torso. Growing up, I thought love handles were something that people who were in love could use to hold on to each other.
Regardless of our relationship status we all need love handles, things people can hold on to when they want to support us, guide us, value us, respect us. Handles are better than labels because they imply action and personal responsibility.
The Process Communication Model, a behavioral model of communication with different personalities, gives us these handles. Each personality type in us has a handle, called Currency, that give us a clue as to what we can hold on to if we want to truly value, respect and love them. Currencies are like legal tender for transactions. It’s how we translate our care and respect for someone into a format they value.
Six Love Handles of Communication
Logic: These people value data and information. Give them the information they need to make rational decisions and manage their time productively.
Values: These people value principles and beliefs. Show them you respect their convictions and can make relevant connections to what’s most important.
Compassion: These people value relationships and connection. Let them know you care about them as a person and are willing to invest in a relationship at a personal level.
Humor: These people value lively, upbeat, and fun interactions. Let them know you are willing to play with them and keep things fun.
Imagination: These people value privacy and their own space. Let them know you will leave them alone, but also give them the structure and guidance necessary to be productive on their own.
Initiative: These people value self-sufficiency and a go-getter mentality. Show them you can make it happen and keep things exciting.
Learn more about how to communicate with the six currencies in PCM.
Looking for ways to make your relationships last? Learn the three secrets to building more compassion in relationships!
Thanks to my friends, colleagues and podcasters Tesse Akpeki and Paula Okonneh for the inspiration for this post.
Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC 2021
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Dr Nate love handles will never be the same for Paula and I. Thank you for making the PCM Model so accessible. Every organisation, network and team should know about this.
Thank you for the inspiration and for your passion for compassion.