Why Is This Happening To Me?

Things were going so good leading up to Christmas. Then, during the week between Christmas and New Years I got several pieces of bad news, and had one heck of a time transferring data between an old and new computer. Wasted most of a day! By the way, the Apple Migration Assistant didn’t make my life any easier this time! Together, these events really killed the buzz I had going. I found myself plummet from being on top of the world to complaining “Why is this happening to me!?” in a matter of hours.

This post is the third in my series, New Year, New Default Settings, where I examine the defaults in our life that keep us from experiencing greater joy, purpose, and productivity. The third default I have re-set this year is,

Why is this happening to me VS. What am I grateful for?

When I automatically respond to negative events by questioning, “Why is this happening to me?”, this is how I act:

• I feel victimized, like the world is conspiring against me
• I feel helpless and can’t think clearly
• I get angry and frustrated
• I act more erratically and can make rash decisions
• I get quiet and my family wonders what’s wrong

I have decided to re-set my default to “What am I grateful for?” Here’s how I am acting differently already:

• I appreciate so many good things in my life
• I notice small things that are really important, but I used to take them for granted
• I look for the good in a situation
• I try to find opportunity in adversity
• I anticipate how I will be smarter, stronger, wiser, or more compassionate as a result of this adversity
• I ask for support because I am grateful for family and friends who care about me

What might happen if I keep this up?

• I will think more clearly to problem-solve through adversity
• I will take the long view and see the big picture which is so much less stressful
• I will feel happier and more satisfied
• I will be more optimistic and resilient
• I will see adversity not as something to be endured, but as an opportunity to grow
• I will be wiser and calmer

What is your default setting when life throws you a curveball? What could happen if you reset your approach for the new year? I’d love to hear your story.

Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC 2019