Why Is This Happening To Me?
Things were going so good leading up to Christmas. Then, during the week between Christmas and New Years I got several pieces of bad news, and had one heck of a time transferring data between an old and new computer. Wasted most of a day! By the way, the Apple Migration Assistant didn’t make my life any easier this time! Together, these events really killed the buzz I had going. I found myself plummet from being on top of the world to complaining “Why is this happening to me!?” in a matter of hours.
This post is the third in my series, New Year, New Default Settings, where I examine the defaults in our life that keep us from experiencing greater joy, purpose, and productivity. The third default I have re-set this year is,
Why is this happening to me VS. What am I grateful for?
When I automatically respond to negative events by questioning, “Why is this happening to me?”, this is how I act:
- I feel victimized, like the world is conspiring against me
- I feel helpless and can’t think clearly
- I get angry and frustrated
- I act more erratically and can make rash decisions
- I get quiet and my family wonders what’s wrong
I have decided to re-set my default to “What am I grateful for?” Here’s how I am acting differently already:
- I appreciate so many good things in my life
- I notice small things that are really important, but I used to take them for granted
- I look for the good in a situation
- I try to find opportunity in adversity
- I anticipate how I will be smarter, stronger, wiser, or more compassionate as a result of this adversity
- I ask for support because I am grateful for family and friends who care about me
What might happen if I keep this up?
- I will think more clearly to problem-solve through adversity
- I will take the long view and see the big picture which is so much less stressful
- I will feel happier and more satisfied
- I will be more optimistic and resilient
- I will see adversity not as something to be endured, but as an opportunity to grow
- I will be wiser and calmer
What is your default setting when life throws you a curveball? What could happen if you reset your approach for the new year? I’d love to hear your story.