Beat Holiday Stress With A Compassion Mindset of Gratitude

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the United States, and the holiday season is upon us. I saw Christmas decorations in stores soon after Halloween. In our neighborhood, people have been putting up lights for several weeks already.

For retailers, this time of year represents big potential. Historically, November and December retail sales can account for up to 20% of annual revenue.

The National Retail Federation expects holiday sales for 2025 to exceed $1 trillion for the first time.

Although the holidays can bring much joy and excitement, they can also be a source of stress.

Holidays Accentuate Existing Struggles

A December 2022 poll from the American Psychiatric Association found that 31% of adults said they expected to feel more stressed during the upcoming holiday season. Daily struggles can become accentuated during the holidays.

• If money is tight, the challenge of decorating, buying the latest trending gifts, and hosting guests is amplified.
• If family relationships are already frayed, the increased intensity or forced togetherness of the holidays can trigger unwanted drama.
• If you’ve lost a loved one, the holidays remind you of their absence and can increase loneliness.
• Everywhere you look are images of happy people who have the newest and best stuff. It’s easy to feel discontented.

All of these issues represent adversarial win-lose types of struggles.

The focus on accumulation, keeping up with the latest trends, and comparison with others is a recipe for stress and discontent. Research is clear that possessions don’t make us happy, experiences and relationships do.

According to a 2022 study by the Center for Biological Diversity, 87% of respondents believe that the holidays should be more about family and caring for others, not giving and receiving gifts.

Gratitude Is An Antidote To Stress

Gratitude is an attitude of thankfulness. It’s an orientation towards “enoughness” in our lives. It recognizes that what we have is so much more important than what we don’t have. It fosters contentment rather than discontentment. According to a research summary published by UCLA Health, simply taking time each day to be thankful can have a profound positive impact:

• Reduced depression
• Lowered anxiety
• Better heart health
• Lower stress
• Better sleep

The pathway of positive impact is achieved by refocusing our energy on what’s present instead of what’s missing, emphasizing the things we have more control over, and enacting daily rituals that become associated with positive emotions. All of these things lower harmful stress hormones.

One of my best friends has been struggling with a chronic health condition and has spent the last three weeks in the hospital while doctors are trying to get it sorted out. Two weeks in, I asked him about his experience, and he described the boredom, endless waiting, anxiety about the unknown, and difficulty being out of his normal routine. I tried to be supportive: “This must be just horrible, Jon, I can’t imagine how hard it is for you.”

Jon’s response was unexpected and gave me perspective and inspiration. “Yes, it is a terrible situation. But I realized I have a choice. I can be miserable, complain, and focus on how bad it is. Or I can focus on the positives and make the most of this experience. So I am choosing positive.”

Jon went on to describe how he has developed a daily routine, built personal relationships with the nurses, and let his endearing personality and natural humor shine. Most importantly, he has stayed focused on all the things he is grateful for; friends, family, his faith, competent medical professionals, daily visits from a friend who snuck in a pizza, and checking out some new Netflix series.

I’m relieved and thankful that Jon was released to go home this week. And I bet the medical staff are going to miss his attitude of gratitude and cheerful spirit. That’s because gratitude is infectious. It changes the energy around you as well.

But What Am I Grateful For?

Sometimes it’s hard to see the bright spots when you are suffering. Re-orienting your focus can be challenging. That’s where a Compassion Mindset can help. A Compassion Mindset views self and others as valuable, capable, and responsible.

• We are inherently valuable because we are humans. Our feelings, experiences, and needs matter. We deserve grace, empathy, caring, and compassion. We can give it to ourselves.
• We are capable, meaning we possess experiences, knowledge, perspectives, skills, and natural traits that can help us solve problems. We can use these capabilities to help us navigate tough times.
• We are responsible, meaning we have 100% control over our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Like my friend, Jon, we get to choose our response to life, even if we can’t choose what happens to us.

Tips For Practicing Gratitude

Like any daily discipline, gratitude can be developed. Here are some strategies to help you develop the habit and amplify the positive impact in your life.

• Write it down: Beyond just thinking about it, writing down what you are grateful for helps make it a ritual and solidifies it so you can go back and read it later.
• Take a beat: Make a point to stop and soak in the gratitude. Once you’ve identified what you are grateful for, give yourself a chance to absorb it and feel it. Next time you say, “Thanks” to someone, stop and appreciate that this is an act of gratitude.
• Focus on VCR: Repeat these statements to focus your gratitude practice around Value, Capability and Responsibility, and see where it takes you:
  • I am thankful for being valuable and for the valuable people in my life.
  • I am thankful for being capable and for the capable people in my life.
  • I am thankful for being responsible and for the responsible people in my life.
• Struggle Together: Give thanks for instances where you have struggled with yourself or others towards greater purpose, meaning, and growth.
• Share your gratitude: Send a quick note telling someone why you are thankful for them.

This holiday season, I wish for you to experience gratitude for the many ways you and the people in your life are valuable, capable, and responsible.

Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC 2025