Entitled To Your Opinion, Or Just Entitled?

How often do you see or hear the phrase, “Everyone is entitled to their opinion?” Recently, in a post on social media, the author started with “No comments please! You are entitled to your opinion, and so am I.” The body of the post was a re-shared meme advocating for a particular political view, followed by a call to action, “If you agree with me, share it.”

“You’re entitled to your opinion” has shifted from a statement about liberty to a marker of impasse, division, and disrespect. How do we get back on track?

How Did We Get Here?

Opinions are perspectives influenced by a person’s values and convictions. Opinions are not facts, but they do represent a person’s evaluation of the alignment between their values and the reality happening around them.

Historically, the right to have and share an opinion was a genuine affirmation of pluralism and went hand in hand with freedom of speech, but was clearly distinguished from truth, facts, or reality. The aspirational ideal was that healthy dialogue between differing opinions, in a container of mutual respect, would yield the best outcomes.

John Stuart Mill, the 19th-century philosopher, did not use the phrase, but On Liberty provides its philosophical foundation. His arguments for freedom of thought and expression underpin the modern assumption that opinions are something one is “entitled” to hold, even when wrong.

Variants of the phrase appear frequently in judicial opinions and dissents from U.S. courts, often to acknowledge free-speech rights while rejecting an argument’s merit.

Daniel Patrick Moynihan, the U.S. Senator and sociologist, is famous for the line, “Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.” It sharply distinguishes the right to believe from the validity of belief (opinions vs. facts) and is often cited as a corrective to the casual use of “entitled to your opinion.”

Fun fact: The Process Communication Model® identifies six perceptual frames of reference, or “viewpoint filters” that humans carry with them. Our perception is influenced by our personalities, and everyone has a preferred perception through which they experience the world. Opinions and Facts are two of the six filters. Contrary to what you might expect if you tune into the media, only 10% of the population experiences the world through the perception of Opinions. Twenty-five percent see the world through Facts. Learn about all six Perceptions, and how to create a safe place for dialogue with each one.

In today’s culture, especially on social media and in polarized public discourse, the most common use of “you’re entitled to your opinion” is as a conversational off-ramp, a way to shut down dialogue. At best, it’s a concession that “I will just agree to disagree.”

As with the social media post I mentioned above, most uses of the phrase these days acknowledge someone’s right to hold a view while implicitly rejecting its legitimacy, accuracy, or worth.

It signals:

• “I’m done debating this.”
• “Your view isn’t persuasive or grounded enough to continue.”
• “This disagreement is not resolvable on shared facts.”
• “My truth is more legitimate than your truth.”
• “My facts are right and yours are fake.”

It allows the speaker to exit a disagreement without conceding and without escalating into overt hostility. Are these really the only options: win through escalation or lose through conceding? When diversity of perspectives becomes an adversarial threat to dialogue rather than a stimulant for creativity, we’ve lost our curiosity and our ability to create.

Opinions Aren’t An Entitlement Program

Rights come with responsibilities. The right to free speech comes with the responsibility to engage in dialogue, show respect, and work towards the greater common good. The right to an opinion comes with the responsibility to hear other perspectives and recognize that you could be wrong. The right to drive comes with the responsibility to follow the rules of the road.

Claiming a right without accepting the accompanying responsibility is entitlement. In a psychological sense, entitlement is a belief that you deserve special treatment without earning it, leading to unreasonable expectations and a sense of deservingness. Children are often characterized as entitled when they expect to have things without earning them, or without appreciating what it takes to provide the things they have.

Do we deserve the special treatment of sharing a divisive opinion but expecting that people won’t comment? Do we deserve to say, “You are entitled to your opinion, but your only option is to re-share my opinion?”

Compassion and Accountability Remembers and Resets The Original Intent

Compassionate Accountability® recognizes that rights and responsibilities go together and that conflict and connection aren’t enemies. It recognizes that with the privilege of self-determination comes the responsibility to struggle with others instead of against them. It embraces the humanity in each person while respecting the differences in perspective. It knows deep down that facts aren’t invented to justify our opinions, but rather, truth is discovered between people through mutual struggle.

Compassionate Accountability is grounded in a Compassion Mindset, which recognizes that all people are valuable, capable, and responsible. How does this apply to opinions?

Valuable: You are unique, which gives you a unique perspective on things. Your values and beliefs matter.

Capable: You are not stagnant. You are a dynamic, evolving person. You have the capability of thinking freely, expressing yourself, and being curious about the world around you. You can learn and grow.

Responsible: You are 100% responsible for how you show up. Your behavior impacts others. For every privilege and right, you also have responsibilities.

Regardless of how you see the world, Compassionate Accountability equips you to navigate conversations and relationships in ways that build up instead of tear down. The purpose of conflict is to create.

Living with a Compassion Mindset not only earns you the right daily to share your views, but it also engages others in the dialogue to spark something better. Compared to the example post I opened with, which do you believe would have the greatest positive impact on the world?

Do you work in professional development of any kind? Here’s how to Power Up Learning Outcomes with a Compassion Mindset. 

Are you ready to change the narrative and eliminate drama from your organization? Start by sharing and discussing this article.

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