JOMO – The Joy of Missing Out

My friend, Jeff Jacobs, is writing a book I’m really excited about. He has invited his supporters along for the journey in a unique way. Check it out.  Jeff sends out periodic updates about his writing journey, always sharing an insight or inviting us to reflect on a theme in the book.

One of my favorite ideas Jeff shared was the concept of the Joy of Missing Out (JOMO), as an alternative to FOMO (the Fear of Missing Out). Jeff passed on this idea from his friend Jonathan, who described it like this.

“For much of my life, I felt the pull, pressure, obligation, or ‘requirement’ to participate in many things that, in hindsight, may not have been the most additive when it came to my overall contentment.

JOMO is my approach to liberating myself from those pressures and instead truly focus on what I really want to spend my precious time doing. Time is my highest protected resource at this point!”

Jonathan’s approach to life invited me to reflect on what better and more fulfilling experiences I might be missing because I am afraid of missing out. Isn’t that ironic!?

Compassionate Accountability embodies this paradoxical tension. It suggests that we do two things at once and, in doing so, we let go of two other things. To practice CA we have to let go of compassion without accountability, and we have to let go of accountability without compassion.

Compassion means struggling with others to create something better. Compassionate Accountability means treating people as valuable, capable, and responsible in every interaction.

Here’s how CA allows you to experience the Joy of Missing Out.

When you struggle with others, you miss out on the other three kinds of struggle that are drama (struggling against, struggling instead of, and struggling alone). As a result, you get to experience the joy of being in it together.

When you stop giving unsolicited advice, you miss out on being the hero, but get to experience the joy of seeing others learn and grow.

When you stop giving in, you miss out on compromising your boundaries to keep the peace, but you get to experience the joy of knowing you matter too.

When you stop giving ultimatums, you miss out on feeling powerful over others, but you get to experience the joy of integrity and true respect.

When you stop choosing between compassion and accountability, you miss out on the energy drain of drama and the compulsion to justify your false choice, but you get to experience the joy of trust, engagement, and empowerment.

When you choose to miss out on Drama, you get to experience the joy of Compassionate Accountability.

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