Living With Intention Means Living In Tension

Posted on January 14, 2026 by Nate Regier / 1 comments
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For the new year, have you resolved to be more intentional about anything? Is there something you’d like to change that will require focused effort?

Living with intention means being aware of your motives, desires, and goals, and dedicating energy to manifesting those intentions. Intention is the opposite of automatic. You realize this any time you try to change a bad habit.

Intention and Conflict

Intention naturally creates a gap between the way things are and the way you want things to be. This is conflict.

The tension in this gap can be energizing or unpleasant. Energizing by motivating you to try something new and tolerate discomfort for the sake of growth. Unpleasant when getting to where you want to go requires that you set and enforce new rules of engagement with yourself and your world.

Navigating the conflict that goes with intention is a delicate task. Get rid of the energy, and apathy sets in. Misuse the energy and discouragement sets in. Either way, forward progress stagnates.

How do you maintain a healthy level of tension to live with intention?

It’s all about how you spend the energy of conflict, and it’s up to you.

Conflict Is Inevitable. Drama Is optional.

Conflict is a natural and ever-present part of our lives. How we spend that energy is what makes all the difference. Drama misuses the energy of conflict in pursuit of self-justification. Compassionate Accountability leverages the energy of conflict to be effective.

Living with intention embraces the positive potential in conflict and responds in ways that are effective instead of justified.

Would You Rather Be Justified or Effective?

You can’t have both. You can’t spend your energy on opposite things at the same time. So, how do you know which is which?

Effectiveness asks, “What will be best?”

Justification asks, “What will prove I’m right?”

Effectiveness considers the impact on self and others.

Justification considers only what will benefit their secret agenda.

Effectiveness sets boundaries with others in a kind way.

Justification disregards boundaries and blames others.

Effectiveness lives with purpose and humility.

Justification lives with envy and shame.

Effectiveness requires self-awareness, presence, and effort.

Justification requires nothing but repeating an automatic, self-serving habit.

This year, when you resolve to live with intention, anticipate the tension that will come with it. Through the inevitable conflict ahead, the more you choose effectiveness over justification, the more successful you will be on your journey to what matters most.

Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC 2026

Lead Through Conflict with Intention


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1 Comments

Photo of Melissa P. Masoner
Melissa P. Masoner
Posted on January 21, 2026

Beautiful and timely
as we begin 2026 and the 250th commemoration of these United States.
Thank you!

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