What if conflict didn’t have to derail your team?

What happens when a team stops avoiding conflict… and starts leaning into it?

In this episode of The Compassionate Accountability® Podcast, Nate sits down with Kristi Westphal Thomas, Training and Development Manager at Western Carolina University, to explore what’s really driving workplace culture, and why so many organizations struggle to get a handle on it.

Despite strong connectivity across her organization, Kristi shares that communication wasn’t always happening where it mattered most. Like many teams, they found themselves caught in cycles of drama, where trust breaks down and progress stalls.

But through Compassionate Accountability, something shifted.

From reluctant participants to teams who are now excited about working through conflict, Kristi shares how equipping people with the right tools not only strengthens relationships but fuels growth, ownership, and employee excellence.

Because culture isn’t a buzzword.

It’s the sum of every interaction. And when leaders show up with honesty, intention, and the skills to navigate tension well, everything changes.

What’s in this episode?

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why poor communication so often leads to workplace drama
• The real cost of conflict when trust breaks down
• How to move through conflict without damaging relationships
• What creates those “lightbulb moments” in teams
• The role leadership plays in shaping culture from the top down
• Why conflict isn’t the problem, and how to work with it effectively

This conversation isn’t theory. It’s lived experience, small wins, hard lessons, and lasting change.

Rapid-fire reflections include:

• What is the most common “aha” moment that you get from people that you’re training and working with?
• What is something important you’ve learned about yourself in this whole journey?

Watch the video

Listen to the audio

Read the transcript

Nate Regier: Hello and welcome to the Compassionate Accountability® Podcast. I’m Nate Regier, and this is where we explore what it really means to lead with both compassion and accountability without separating the two through the real journeys of leaders who have lived it. If you’re navigating people pressure, conflict, drama, and the responsibility of trying to hold it all together, you are in the right place.

In less than a year, she went from being a newly certified Compassionate Accountability trainer to being nominated for the highest service award that her organization gives to staff. My guest today says that the biggest “aha” she experiences from participants in her program is when they realize that conflict doesn’t have to be scary, and that they can communicate through it to build trust and keep focused on team goals instead of ending up derailed by drama.

Kristi Westphal Thomas is the training and development manager at Western Carolina University. She holds a Master of Education in training and development from NC State and has been leading L&D initiatives for about a year. Her journey into higher education began in 2013 when she started working at a university and discovered the transformative power of learning.

First enrolling in community college and then spending nine years earning her associates, undergraduate and master’s degrees. Along the way, she earned her HR certification in 2018 and developed a deep passion for professional learning and organizational development. Next Element’s Compassionate Accountability tools are central to Kristi’s vision for leadership and culture transformation at Western Carolina.

She has seen these tools make meaningful impact with faculty and staff across the campus. And in 2025, WCU was recognized by Forbes Magazine as North Carolina’s best place to work and number three in the entire nation. Kristi is also a proud mom to Jake and Cara-Lou, both college students and is married to her husband of eight years, Dr. Brian Thomas. Kristi, welcome to the Compassionate Accountability Podcast. I’m so glad to have you here.

Kristi Westphal Thomas: Yeah, thank you so much, Nate. I am very happy, excited, and a little nervous to be here if I’m honest.

Nate Regier: Well, thank you for being honest. That’s okay. I’m really looking forward to this conversation and let’s get it kicked off with, will you tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do at Western Carolina University?

Kristi Westphal Thomas: Yeah. So, I am the Training and Development Manager, the one and only, at the university here in western North Carolina. We essentially have about 1600 employees, both faculty and staff, that go through the programs that I offer, depending on if they are on a certain track, if they want something to add to their yearly review, performance management evaluations, things like that.

So that’s essentially what I do. I facilitate everything on campus, to all of the adults that are not students.

Nate Regier: Wow. So you touch a lot of different parts of the organizational development strategy and I’m excited to get into that in a little bit. So, stepping back, based on your experience, everything you’re doing there,  what would you say is one of the more significant people related challenges that you see and that you deal with every day?

Kristi Westphal Thomas: In the grand scheme of things, it’s communication. It is always communication, from my employee relations team members, that work very closely with me and human resources here. That’s mainly what we hear is the communication is not happening where it needs to happen. And so that really is the largest piece that I facilitate right now.

Nate Regier: Okay. Yeah. Well, we hear that a lot and  you more recently joined the learning and development team, or became the team at Western Carolina.

Kristi Westphal Thomas: Yes.

Nate Regier: But you’re part of a program. You’re carrying the torch for a program that’s been building momentum for quite a while.

I’m not sure how much you know, but if you turn back the clock and go back to before all of this, what was going on? What were things like before this focus started to emerge?

Kristi Westphal Thomas: In the grand scheme of things, it’s always been this, it’s always been communication. It’s always been the connectivity between us as not only coworkers, but as human beings.

Those touch points, and everything. And that’s what I gathered and have been gathering for the last…at least six years, you know, that I’ve had the pleasure of, you know, shadowing. I unfortunately don’t know what the issues or the university atmosphere, if you will, was before me.

But I do know that that connectivity and everything has always been very, very strong. And one of the things they wanted to grow here on campus.

Nate Regier: Yeah. Well, so going back to communication as kind of the main people related challenge, what are some areas where you see communication when it doesn’t go well?

What are some of the problems that it can cause in your environment?

Kristi Westphal Thomas: Drama number one. Right. Always drama. The breakdown of relationships we have, that has been something that I have seen. I have also lived through myself. With the breakdown of the relationships, the trust leaves, and, you know, can I now trust that person to go off and complete what they need to complete?

Do I need to watch that person more closely so that micromanagement might start coming into play? And things like that. So, that’s the really the biggest thing that I hear continuously. From me personally, but also continuously on campus, is just that breakdown in that relationship that should be strong and is no longer strong.

Nate Regier: Hearing that is so consistent with the trust and conflict research that we’ve been doing, particularly over this last year. And when we ask people, leaders, what is the number one consequence when conflict turns to drama and gets mismanaged,  they say trust breaks down, teams don’t work well together, and then relationships fall apart.

And it sounds pretty consistent. You’re not alone, for sure, in the consequences that you experience. Well, you’re trying to do something about it, obviously. And I’m curious, could you describe what is the impetus why? Is your department invested in Next Element’s Compassionate Accountability framework and tools for learning and development?

Like why is it a fit for you?

Kristi Westphal Thomas: It’s a fit because it works because since I’ve been doing this, I started shadowing my predecessor, like I said, six years ago. And, I have seen it work time and again, time and again, time and again. And that is the reason why we continuously train and we’re adding more trainings.

You know all the offerings that we’re doing, I’ve doubled, just in the last three months now. And so because it works, people are getting excited about it, but there are people coming out of the woodwork who are like, wait a second, we need that. I want to do that. And so, that’s really it.

It just, it’s innate, it works. It just works. It’s worked for us. We see the value in it. I don’t know that there’s ever a time where there isn’t a value. You know when people leave from those trainings, the looks on their faces, you can see the wheels start turning, things like that, and they’re going out and they’re using it.

And that’s the biggest thing. I want to make sure that not only am I facilitating and teaching and everything else, but I’m also connecting. And I want to make sure that through that connection, then they’re going off into their own areas and connecting with their people through it as well.

Nate Regier: Well, you highlighted two things I really want to lift out for anybody listening who is in internal learning and development, HR people, culture is, first thing you said is people want to do it. The word on the street is that this works. And so often learning and development is charged with, oh, you need to execute this strategy, or you need to get all middle managers through this training.

And it’s hard to get people excited and enthusiastic about something that you believe in. So, when the word is on the street and people are asking for it, that is a way better position to be in as learning and development. Instead of you’re out there trying to convince people why they should do this or they’re being sent against their will because of some organizational thing.

Kristi Westphal Thomas: Yes.

Nate Regier: And the other thing you talked about is practical utility and that it works, and that people are leaving with the gears turning and leaving and going using things. So often after trainings, even if people are excited in the middle of the training, by the time they walk out the door and now they have to use the tool, they’re like, ah, so you’re seeing people go out and use this stuff.

Kristi Westphal Thomas: I have been nominated for a very, I’m not going to say prestigious, I guess on campus it’s pretty prestigious. But it’s because of what I am doing on campus and, growing this program into something that hopefully continues to grow and flourishes, but something that the campus hasn’t seen before.

There’s excitement around it. There’s excitement around the CA products. There’s excitement around the training and development that’s being offered and everything else. And so, it’s there. You know, we have what we need because we are such a cohesive, strong community. If you will.

Nate Regier: Oh, that’s fantastic.

So before communication, when it would break down, it caused drama and the result of that drama was trust broke down. Teams couldn’t work well together and get stuff done, and then relationships fell apart. So now that you’re building this program, you’re bringing these tools to the organization, how would you say you are changing the way people think about communication and conflict?

Kristi Westphal Thomas: I think I’m getting them excited about it.

Nate Regier: Conflict. Getting excited about conflict?

Kristi Westphal Thomas: Conflict, but moving through it appropriately. And, you know, I’m not getting them excited about actually having the issues, but if the issue should arise, they have the tools and the ability to now move through it. You know, they’re listening to what’s being facilitated to them.

They’re moving through the booklets and the workbooks and all of the exercises and everything else, and we’re bringing in real life situations where, okay, you know, obviously don’t tell me what’s happening, I don’t need to know the full drama, or who is going through it with you.

But let’s take a step back and say, okay, if you need to sit down with this person, let’s have a real life conversation and, you know, I’ll pretend to be that person. I will sit back and I’ll listen and I’ll respond appropriately. You know, with how you need to respond.

And that’s getting them excited. It’s actually getting them excited because they’re having these “aha” moments of, wait a second, if I am able to move through this communication appropriately, then we can retain that person, then that person won’t go out and start, you know, looking for another job because  our relationship is now broken.

You know, we can build this back up. And so gaining that trust again and everything else. So, I think for me, at least, I have seen that excitement of learning the tools appropriately. Appropriately learning the tools.

Nate Regier: Well, we, we like to say that conflict is inevitable, but drama is optional.

And, and it sounds like what you’re saying is when people get that realization that wait drama is not inevitable, and if we learn how to work with conflict in a different way, we can move through and really achieve that. Really the ultimate goal, which is to strengthen the relationship and at the same time get the results. And not compromise one for the other.

Kristi Westphal Thomas: Yeah, absolutely.

Nate Regier: Fantastic. Well, so you’ve been on a journey on both sides of the coin. You were the recipient of these amazing things. Now you’re teaching them to others. You’ve just received an award for your work. What is a lesson you’ve learned about leadership and culture that would be helpful for others that are listening?

Kristi Westphal Thomas: That culture is something foundational. And it is rooted not only in your employees, but it’s rooted in the community around them, and for me that was something huge. It’s not just me and the people I’m facilitating. It’s me and the community and everybody else. And so the culture is set. However, it can absolutely shift and change depending on what is happening. And what’s being offered and what, the care that it’s being given. Yeah. And so, yeah, that’s it. It shifts and it moves, but it still has a foundation, and you can build upon it.

Nate Regier: I think you’re talking about something that’s very profound, which is culture is something we often struggle to get a handle on and yet we all say we want a good culture.

And, we talk about how brand is a lagging indicator of the quality of your culture and your brand is strong. You just received a award for being a best place to work. That’s a strong brand. But it comes because of your culture being strong. And what I’m hearing you say is the culture is the sum of all the interactions between the people. And when you can impact those interactions to be positive and life-giving, and when the conflict is used in healthy ways, it really manifests kind of this, this definition of Compassionate Accountability, which is the practice of demonstrating that everyone is valuable, capable, and responsible in every interaction.

And that’s the mindset. So, it’s like you’re saying, when a culture has the mindset, everything flows.

Kristi Westphal Thomas: Yeah. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. And I’ll also say, in the grand scheme of things for leadership wise, a leader who is willing to listen and a leader who is, you know, it starts at leadership.

So, for me, you know, if the Chancellor wasn’t invested in all of this, and it wouldn’t trickle down to me, you know, it wouldn’t trickle down to the other entities and people on campus. And so, in the grand scheme of things, if we want to look at kind of like the overall reason why we got here and why really I’m here, it’s because of amazing leadership. And leadership that believes in our brand and builds upon that. And is, I always go back to the word excited, and excited seems to kind of flow through our culture. And that’s the mindset, it’s that excited mindset of growth.

Nate Regier: Yeah.

Kristi Westphal Thomas: Essentially.

Nate Regier: Well,  I hope that there are listeners out there listening to this that are leaders that care and want to create an amazing culture, and also people that are in charge of learning and development that want to participate in that. So, if you were going to have any advice to either of those people listening, if they want to get on a journey, move towards where you are, what advice would you have?

Kristi Westphal Thomas: I always, always, always say that if you feel like you want to be somewhere else, be a self-advocate for yourself as well as where you work or where you are. If you’re not a self-advocate and you’re not building yourself up and continuously learning and evolving and everything else, then at least to me, this isn’t science factor, this is Kristi’s opinion, but at least to me, you’re stuck. You’re not going to move anywhere.

Nate Regier: Yeah.

Kristi Westphal Thomas: And so, having those conversations and using the tools that we have to build. And to go, be able to go to leadership and be able to flow through ORPO and believe everything else, right?

And be able to understand who that person is as a person, not necessarily as a leader, but as that person, as that human. And that’s where I’ve approached most of everything that I have gone through in the last however many years that I have been on this journey. It’s been a while. I’m finally here and I’m still learning, and I’m still building, and I’m still self-advocating.

And so that’s the biggest thing is to, you know, approach leadership in an honest and pure way, if you will, with the best of intentions to self-advocate for you and  then advocate for your brand or wherever you’re working currently.

Nate Regier: Well, I don’t know that I’ve ever met anybody that is, that is such a living example of what you just said.

Because you’re so assertive about where you want to go, you’re an amazing self-advocate, but you’re so open to learning too, and, just a sponge for all of that learning. So, what is one truth about conflict that you think people should know?

Kristi Westphal Thomas: In the grand scheme of things, conflict is not the worst thing in the world and it can absolutely be moved through.

Nate Regier: Thank you. What is one thing that leaders, or really anybody, forget about communication?

Kristi Westphal Thomas: That communication goes two ways. It’s a two-way street.

Nate Regier: Wow. What is the most common “aha” moment that you get from people that you’re training and working with? Light bulb moment.

Kristi Westphal Thomas: Nate, in all honesty, I have seen more light bulb moments than I had in the last six years of shadowing my predecessor, in the last few months. The last few months through Compassionate Accountability, The Compassion Mindset^® and other programs, the biggest light bulb moments usually are, wait a second, I can communicate with that person.

Nate Regier: Wow. What a moment of hope when you maybe thought it was, it was hopeless and now you have a new way. So, last thing is, what is something important you’ve learned about yourself in this whole journey?

Kristi Westphal Thomas: Um, that I’ve got it.

Nate Regier: You’ve got it.

Kristi Westphal Thomas: I’ve got it. I’ve got it. I, and I continuously remind myself that I’ve got.

But I’ve got it. And, and whatever it is, is whatever is currently on my plate that day, or that month or whatever, but I’ve got it. And, and I can do it.

Nate Regier: Wow. Well, Kristi, I am so grateful. Thank you for coming on the show. I can imagine you’re going to be an inspiration for a lot of people out there who are on a similar journey or have big dreams for their organizations. Is there anything about where you work that you are so proud of or something you’d like to just brag about your organization?

Kristi Westphal Thomas: Yeah. Well there is a lot of things. We don’t have enough time for all of all of it, but I’m going, I’ll just, I’m going go back to this.

I have had the pleasure of working with our chancellor, Chancellor Kelly Brown. She started in 2019 and I worked very closely with her, and we have a very good working relationship. She trusts me in many, many things. And I, in the grand scheme of things, I honestly think that having that leadership and having the trust of when things are not going down the pipeline to me, but going up the pipeline to her that she is willing to say yes, because she trusts and that’s huge. That is absolutely huge. She is a people builder. I’d like to think that I’m a people builder. Maybe not to the extent of a chancellor, but the inspiration that she gives to this community and the brand of Western Carolina University, and really outside these university walls is, is huge.

And she is, she will always be, that inspiration, I think, here at Western for sure.

Nate Regier: Well, they are so lucky to have you and you’re lucky to work in an organization that believes in Compassionate Accountability as part of the culture. If people want to get a hold of you, where could somebody come learn more about you or get in touch?

Kristi Westphal Thomas: Yeah, absolutely. So, you can find me, if you go to wcu.edu, the professional development page through Human Resources, you can find my contact information there. You can find out way more about professional development and what I offer. You can also email me. It’s kwestphal@wcu.edu. I am a very busy person, however, I’m very good with email, so I’ll respond pretty quickly.

But yeah, that’s, that’s really it. But the biggest piece is the website for sure. The professional development website.

Nate Regier: Wonderful. Well, thank you so much again for being on this podcast, and I wish you so much good fortune and continued success in your work.

Kristi Westphal Thomas: Awesome. Thank you so much, Nate. I appreciate it.

Nate Regier: You’ve just been listening to the Compassionate Accountability Podcast. I’m Nate Regier, and in this episode, we’ve experienced the enthusiasm and satisfaction when internal learning and development gets to share communication and conflict tools that make an immediate and profound difference in an organization.

With support from top leadership and a consistent commitment to excellence, Kristi Westphal is helping Western Carolina University attract and retain the best talent in the region by teaching them how to communicate with Compassionate Accountability. If this episode resonated and you want to learn more about building a culture where compassion and accountability coexist, please subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you listen. You can also rate, review and share the podcast to help us reach more listeners. And if you’d like to learn more about Compassionate Accountability or connect with us directly, give us a visit at next-element.com. Thanks for tuning in and we’ll see you next time.

Copyright, Next Element Consulting, LLC 2026