The Critical Difference Between Conflict Styles And Conflict Skills

Compassionate Accountability® helps people use conflict as a catalyst for greater trust, innovation, and performance. When people see the results of their Compassionate Accountability Assessment or learn the ORPO model for conflict, they often ask, “How is this different from conflict styles?”

Great question! Here’s the answer.

What is Conflict Style?

People have different ways of dealing with conflict. The five conflict styles identified by the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument are: collaborating, competing, avoiding, accommodating, and compromising. According to this model, each style has pros and cons, and problems arise if we overuse one style or don’t recognize which style is right for a current situation.

We take a slightly different view. Conflict isn’t inherently bad. But the energy of conflict can be used in positive or negative ways.

How Do You Use Conflict Energy?

Our Compassionate Accountability Assessment (CAA) reveals three counterproductive ways of dealing with conflict: Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer. All of these are drama, all end up moving energy away from relationships and results.

Four of the five Kilmann styles (competing, avoiding, accommodating, and compromising) align with the three Drama Roles and become a liability under pressure. Research shows that a person’s drama tendencies during conflict are strongly influenced by their personality and are unlikely to change much throughout their lives.

According to Next Element’s Trust and Conflict research, over half of employees do not trust their supervisor’s ability to negotiate conflict. 

What Is Conflict Skill?

The CAA also shows a person’s strength in three core competencies for navigating conflict effectively: Openness, Resourcefulness, and Persistence. They can be learned and applied to help people harness the energy of conflict as a catalyst for greater trust, innovation, and impact. These skills help people transcend their style and learn new skills for being effective in any situation.

Openness creates psychological safety so the real issues can be addressed.

Resourcefulness brings curiosity into the process and engages collaborative problem-solving.

Persistence maintains consistency with what matters most.

Knowing your conflict style can be a great start, but it isn’t a solution because conflict negotiation requires skill, not style. Conflict skill means creating safe, curious, and consistent spaces without the drama.

OPRO Is a Universal Conflict Negotiation Template

Our ORPO framework for conflict is a learnable skill that helps leaders navigate all sorts of tricky situations more effectively, regardless of their style or personality. It’s a proven template backed by over 15 years of outcomes research for leading out of drama with Compassionate Accountability. 94% of our training participants rate ORPO as superior to any other model of conflict communication they have used.

If you want to improve how your leaders deal with conflict, equip them with real skills and strategies to walk into any conflict situation and use that energy to generate positive outcomes.

Do your leaders have an SOP for conflict?

Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC 2021