Stop Trying To Control Negative Attention Behavior: The Second Disruptive Behavioral Technology

This is part two in my three-part series on disruptive behavioral technologies that will dramatically improve relationships and results.

Most negative behavior is a symptom of an unmet positive need. Here’s the logic; if people don’t get their needs met positively, they will attempt to get those very same needs met negatively, with or without awareness. To learn more about this, read my series covering the six most common patterns of negative behavior and the unmet positive need.

This same logic predicts that if we see negative attention behavior, the most effective way to reduce or eliminate that behavior is to offer the corresponding positive need. Attempting to control, deter, or punish negative attention behavior only ads fuel to the fire. This is how humans function. Accepting this reality may greatly disrupt your leadership philosophy and assumptions about how to influence behavior.

Recently, I heard a parent discussing the positive impact he experienced by applying this principle with his children. He shared,

“You can’t unlock a lock with a lock. You have to unlock a lock with a key.”

This disruptive behavioral technology saved one of our clients $50,000 in one year by dramatically shortening their leadership meetings. In one year it saved a hospital $250,000 in turnover reduction among nurses. It has virtually eliminated behavioral problems at Muse School in California, and dramatically reduced power struggles with my children. It’s a game-changer. 

Want to learn about the other two disruptive behavioral technologies?

• Disclose your motives
• Place openness before honesty

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