Trust-Opportunity Matrix

At least once a week, one of my professional connections tells me, “I know someone you should meet. I see so much synergy between your work. I’d be happy to introduce you two.” I love these introductions! What a great way to start a relationship.

But it can get complicated. In some cases, this new person is in a similar field, maybe even doing similar work with similar clients. On the surface it might seem like they are a competitor, which adds a layer of complexity to the relationship. In other situations there’s no apparent overlap, just commonality in ideas or purpose.

Have you experienced anything similar? How do you approach these first encounters?

My default mindset is abundance. I am naturally opportunistic and optimistic, so I go into most situations believing there’s potential for something good to come out of it. This has served me well, but it doesn’t eliminate the complicated dynamics.

Lately I’ve been observing how prominent leaders navigate their relationships in situations with similar dynamics, but much higher stakes. Shared interests but conflicting agendas. Untapped opportunity but lack of trust. Mutual dependence but competing goals.

I’ve been doing research on the relationship between trust and conflict, particularly in high-pressure situations. I think the concept of “opportunity” plays a role in this context. I define opportunity as the perception that there could be some benefit, either personally or for a group I am representing.

Opportunity is about the question, “What’s in it for me (or us)?” It’s not necessarily a selfish agenda, it’s a natural part of seeing relationships as two-way streets.

So how do opportunity and trust relate? Here’s a model I’ve developed to map out how people behave in four different situations from the perspective of opportunity and trust.

For the purpose of this model, I define trust as being able to answer these two questions, “Am I safe with you?” and “Can I count on you?” Here’s an article I wrote on these two questions.

The Trust-Opportunity Matrix looks at behavior associated with each combination of low vs. high trust paired with low vs. high opportunity.

Low Trust, Low Opportunity: When we don’t perceive any potential benefit, and we don’t have trust, the most likely behavior is to abandon the relationship. Think of first dates that go badly or the many dead-end encounters a salesperson makes at a networking event.

High Trust, Low Opportunity: When we don’t see benefit (yet) but there’s trust in the relationship, that’s the time to invest. It may be a long-game that requires patience and commitment, but whenever opportunity does arise, the foundation of trust will help things materialize much more easily.

During economic downturns or times of uncertainty, this is our approach to business at Next Element. We make effort to connect with our past and present clients, hear how they are doing, offer support, and continue to nurture that relationship. Having a blog, podcast, and newsletter allows us to build connection and trust with potential clients we haven’t yet met. Frequently when someone calls requesting services, they have already been following my blog or podcast for several years.

Low Trust, High Opportunity: When we aren’t safe and we can’t count on each other, but there’s potential benefit, that’s when we commonly see manipulation occur. Manipulation is about maneuvering to get what we want without being vulnerable or having a relationship contract. Examples include: Withholding information, hiding true motives, pushing fake agendas, passive-aggressive tactics, bullying, threats, ultimatums, cornering, bypassing proper chain of command, and breaking the rules. Behavior in this quadrant gives rise to sayings like, “You can win the battle but lose the war.”

High-Trust, High Opportunity: This is where synergy occurs. When there’s high-trust and high-opportunity, both parties are willing to take risks and put energy into building something together. Co-creation is the ultimate kind of relationship because it recognizes that lasting success requires mutuality. When both parties lean in, they have ownership and are invested in manifesting the opportunity.

High-performing teams leave their egos at the door, get vulnerable with each other because it’s safe, and follow through because they can count on each other.

Flourishing organizations succeed because different departments and functions respect each other, lean on each other, help each other, and co-create success.

If this model resonates, then we have more questions to explore through the lens of Compassionate Accountability®:

• What are the best ways to respond if a relationship moves from Co-Create to Manipulate?
• What’s the best way to move from Invest to C0-Create when opportunity arises?
• How do we gracefully bow out when there’s low-trust and low-opportunity?
• How do we address manipulation when we are on the receiving end?

How does this model sit with you? Can you relate? What would you add or change? What other questions does this raise? I’d love to hear from you. Will you post your comments?

Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC