Long Story Short: What’s Your Communication Affliction?

If the phrase “long story short” is a frequent part of your conversations, it means your stories are too long.

I’m guessing at first when you said “Long story short” you probably recognized the problem and were trying to remind yourself to keep things contained. But it didn’t fix the problem. Now it has become a habitual part of your speech, telegraphing that a long story is coming, you are aware of it at some level, but you can’t (or won’t) change it. It’s a nasty little habit that compromises your communication effectiveness.

Why?

Because you are afflicted by the need to be perfect. Beneath the surface you expect yourself to be perfect, and it shows in how you talk. Big words, complicated explanations, detours & parentheticals, justifications & rationalizations. All of this extends what should have been a short story into a long one.

The unintended consequences; people tune out, don’t read your long emails, and often don’t understand what you are trying to say. This habit holds you back from being more effective as a leader and communicator. And every time you do it, you reinforce the negative habit. This is unfortunate because your ideas are good and you are capable of articulating yourself clearly and concisely.

Turn Around Bad Communication Habits

Here’s the good news. You don’t need to be perfect to be OK. You probably learned this as a coping mechanism in childhood from parents or other adult figures who didn’t help you deal with mistakes or loss of control in a healthy way.

It’s not too late. This affliction is reversible, you are OK, and you aren’t alone. About 25% of the population struggles with the unhealthy compulsion to be perfect. If this is you, and you want to make a real change to your behavior, here are some tips to try.

• Tell yourself that you are smart and that you can think clearly.
• Repeat the mantra: “When I stop talking, I won’t lose control. Instead, I will gain the
  opportunity to learn what people want to know.”
• Instead of being an expert, be a resource. Stop talking so people can ask you questions.
• Tell yourself, “Good enough is good enough!”
• Get help from a trusted friend or peer who can help you monitor your progress.

What Is A Communication Affliction?

The need to be perfect is just one of six “communication afflictions” that interfere with healthy communication and leadership. They are correlated with personality and can be predicted with high accuracy using the Process Communication Model assessment.

At Next Element, we understand the nuances of communication and how they relate to leadership. We help leaders gain self-awareness into their own personality and communication strengths and liabilities, and guide them toward more healthy habits.

Contact us today to learn more.