Self-Compassion vs. Compassionate Self-Care

Self-Compassion is so important. Practices such as mindfulness, self-acceptance, and presence help us stay balanced. But we need more than that to stay healthy when we are facing rapid change in our working and living conditions.

Compassionate self-care is quite different. Our definition of compassion is, “the practice of demonstrating that people are valuable, capable, and responsible.” Self-Compassion focuses mostly on the “valuable” part. Compassionate self-care is more comprehensive.

Demonstrating that you are valuable means

• Accepting your feelings as valid, and treating them as important signs of how you are doing.
• Identifying and naming your emotional experience.
• Sharing how you feel with others, without any expectations.

It might sound like this…

“I’m anxious about being able to lead my team remotely right now.”

“I’m glad we are going through this together.”

“I’ve noticed I’m not sleeping as well because I keep replaying things in my head.”

Demonstrating that you are capable means

• Trying new things and learning from mistakes.
• Asking for the kind of information or resources that would help you most.
• Using your past experiences, successes, skills as valuable assets right now.
• Forgiving yourself or not being perfect or having it all figured out.

It might sound like this…

“There’s this recipe I’ve always wanted to try. What do I have to lose!”

“Will you recommend a secure video sharing service?”

“I raised two children by myself. What did I learn that I could apply now?”

Demonstrating that you are responsible means

• Setting and reinforcing heathy boundaries around your sleep, exercise, routines, eating.
• Serving others in a way that doesn’t drain you.
• Apologizing and owning up when you slip up.

It might sound like this…

“I feel better when I get up at my usual time, get dressed, and act like I’m going to work.”

“I will volunteer to get groceries for two of my neighbors. That’s all.”

“I am sorry for snapping at you. I let the stress get to me instead of telling you how I felt earlier. I will be more open with you going forward.”

Would you like to learn more about compassionate self-care and get guidance from a Next Element facilitator?

Join our Free 45 minute Drama-Resilience Webinar: Compassionate Self-Care During Covid-19. Based on our Leading Out of Drama model, we will help you use compassion to keep all those energy vampires at bay!

Click here to register.

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