The Purpose of Conflict
The purpose of conflict is to create.
Conflict is about differences. differences in how we see things, between what we want and what we are experiencing, in how we approach a situation.
Differences are natural. Diversity is a beautiful and necessary part of nature. In fact, diversity is one of the foundational building blocks of evolution. Without differences, we would stagnate and die.
Therefore, conflict is an inevitable consequence of diversity. It’s natural and normal. If diversity is part of the grand design of the universe, so is conflict.
The purpose of conflict, then, is to create something new and better. The oyster encounters the grain of sand; that’s conflict. The purpose of that conflict is to create a pearl.
So why does conflict have a bad rap? Because we don’t always stay true to its purpose.
Drama is the problem, not conflict.
Drama is what happens when we misuse conflict to struggle against ourselves or each other, with or without awareness, to feel justified about our negative behaviors.
The need to feel justified messes it all up. Humans screw things up when we fall victim to our worst habit, the need to feel justified. This drives us to squander the potential in conflict, make it adversarial, and destroy each other in the process.
Compassion is the solution. Compassion is what makes us human, keeps us connected, and helps us get back on track when we lose our way. Compassion gives humans the ability to use conflict to create instead of destroy.
Compassionate Accountability® is how nice people get things done in the real world. It’s how conflict creates amazing things.